"It just wasn't like the old days anymore..."

I came home primarily because I have no money. I'm in debt beyond my overdraft limit. £1,754 to be precise. Oh yeah, and then there's a credit card. Why is everyone so responsible? I know I'm gonna be a star so it doesn't matter too much to me.

I went to see my Dad yesterday. I heard lots of swearing as I got close to the house. He swears quite loudly for long periods of time nowadays. He answered the door clearly pissed and dishevelled. He didn't seem to recognise me but let me in. On the television was a recorded Mass from America. The walls were covered with pictures of The Virgin Mary, Jesus, St Theresa and Pope John Paul. Statues of icons covered every available surface. He told me that the spirits were coming to him and saying things. His head was getting hot he said. I asked him if he thought he was dying. He said yes. I asked him how long he thinks he has left. 15 years he said. I told him he was being a bit over optimistic. Don't get me wrong, I love my Dad but I don't think he's got not much more than a year left to live the way he's going. I asked him if he had any money for me. He replied that he thought he had a tenner but he could only find £2. I took the money and left.

My Dad made me smoke and inhale a cigar when I was 3. At 6 he left me to watch Poltergeist and The Exorcist on my own in a caravan in Blackpool while he went to the pub and got pissed. But I think so much of him. He made me into the person I am today. An irresponsible alcoholic. I still like him though.